You have probably known about the three kinds of motivation: motivation from the bad (stimulation), motivation for good (motivation itself) and self-motivation (does not depend upon external factors, internal inspiration).
The first two types of motivation are often used in the process of education. They spend a lot of energy. These types are not permanent and require a "third-party observer and controller".
The third kind is as "perpetual motion". Once it is launched, it will independently produce energy and lead to achievements of the child.
Here are five main recommendations:
1. Ask questions openly. Try to create questions, answering whuch the child will not have the chance to think. Open question means making him think independently. Examples of open questions: If you knew the answer, what would you say? What might be the consequences for you and others? What criteria do you use? What is the most difficult for you in this task? What advice would you give to someone else if they were in your place?
Imagine a dialogue with the wisest person. What will she say to you? What are you winning / losing if you make / say? If you did / said someone else, what would you think / did / say? What else? I do not know what to do. And you?
2. Identify your style of a leader. As your child grows up, your leadership style should change from complete dictation to full liberality. Relieve control, place responsibility according to the age of your child, stop responding for his mistakes and let the children correct their own failures.
Your task is to become a wise counselor and trustee for the transitional age. For some parents, the transfer of responsibility is tragedy, so it is worth adressing psychologist to work out this point with the child.
3. Set goals. Learn with the child to put the final and intermediate goals. Motivation is increased by the intermediates. They have specifics; close measurable results, a sense of progress and a sense of success.
Rememeber that the child should set these goals himself. The task of parents is asking questions. The ultimate goal is a dream. These goals are enveloping and giving a long-term perspective.
4. Look into the depths of the problem. It often happens that poor performance is just the tip of the iceberg. Therefore, it is necessary to understand the root cause of the problem. Parents and teachers make it difficult, because there is a biased attitude and past negative experience. 2-3 consultations with an experienced child psychologist on Skype will help you look at the situation differently and define the root cause.
5. Talk about feelings. Ask yourself the following questions to find out the feelings: What do you feel when you suddenly called to the board? What precipice do you have after ...? What do you think you are afraid of? In what part of the body do you feel tension? How do you prevent yourself from learning well? How do you feel when you know what has worked well with the task? How would you rate your confidence in the 10-point system to respond well to the lesson?
These 5 recommendations should be carried out constantly, completely rebuilding your relationship with the child. Internal motivation comes from the child. He needs to learn how to plan, analyze, be aware of his choices and act on his own. Teachers and loving parents must help in decision-making and setting goals.